Women have the tremendous ability to still look sexy while holding a bright pink drink with fruit in it – I hate it, but we can. Men? Men can’t. Maybe it’s the fruit, maybe it’s the color of the drink, but your manhood is at risk if you make the horrific decision to hold a pastel frozen cocktail.
Call me old school, but nothing is sexier than a man holding a Scotch talking about the importance of…anything. Don’t get me wrong, I believe a man should be comfortable holding whatever drink he pleases, but there are some that just cross the bad taste line.
10. Wine Cooler
I think bars should be banned from serving these at all, but I suppose we have to cater to the non-alcohol alcohol drinkers. These sugary “alcopops” are a sad, disgusting replacement for a solid drink. Why don’t you just pull a Capri Sun out of your pocket, pop the straw in and get to “drinking?”
9. Bud Light Lime
Story: I was dared to drink one of these monstrosities at a bar and it took 2 hours and three guys to help me finish one BLL. It’s not beer and it’s so not good. I don’t know what lime flavoring is, but I feel the need to find the inventor and kick his ass. If you like lime in your beer, order a Corona and get a real damn lime!
8. Pink Squirrel
The name alone should make you want to cower in a corner by yourself, but if it doesn’t, here are the ingredients: Crème de Noyaux (no idea), white Creme De Cacao (Seriously.) and Light cream…why don’t you just order some cookies and ask where your nap mat is.
7. Daiquiri
Rum is delicious, but it’s wicked difficult to order a rum drink without a glass full of ridiculous garnish and a neon straw accompanying it. Eat your veggies and fruit before you come to the bar. Problem solved.
6. Mudslide
It’s ice cream. It’s a huge glass filled with ice cream, Baileys, about one million calories and a shot of “there goes your manhood” on the side. I’m not making judgments here guys (I totally am), but if my nana orders it…you probably want to reconsider your drink choice. Or you can hang out with my nana at the end of the bar and help her shove sugar packets into her oversized handbag.
Mmmm….pie.
This is like a shopping list from high school. Thank you for not bagging on fruity shots. Some of us — call us what you will — can no longer handle the straight-up vodka shots. However, I don’t appreciate you ripping on the frozen margs — they’re so refreshing!
“Or you can hang out with my nana at the end of the bar and help her shove sugar packets into her oversized handbag.”
That is a horrifying metaphor…
Are you kidding me? Dude, MudSlides are da shiz yo!
Lou
You were so sure about the “less booze” in a frozen drink that you repeated yourself?
Were you ever a bartender?
A margarita recipe is the same. It’s less ICE CUBES, more ICE SLUSH.
How do you figure frozen = less alcohol? Is there a principal of engineering I never learned?
What an ignorant article haha, as if a drink order is a reflection on one’s “manhood”.
Zima, tastes like zhit!
2 hours to finish a BLL? And you are trying to judge another man by his drink order?
Loser.
Keep telling yourself that William, as you order another appletini. Just don’t spill any on your skirt.
You forgot the Shirley Temple!
A platonic female friend once laughed at me for ordering a midori sour. She’s a stone-livered gal that only drinks vodka on the rocks and dirty martinis. I found it hard to argue.
If you’re afraid to order a drink you like in a bar because you’re afraid it will make you look less manly, then you ARE less manly. Order what you like, you’re at the bar to have a good time.
what B*tch wrote this crap
hmmm… alcaholic ice-cream…totally worth manhood
I’m sorry but that’s just your opinion. In my opinion, real men aren’t such wimps that they’d some gender box defined by a woman prevent them from drinking whatever tastes good. Also, I find drinking of any sort to be unladylike. So no, you’re not sexy holding a bright pink drink.
daiquiri’s are the shit. they taste hella good.
I dont think what one drinks ultimately reflects on one’s ability to have self control in difficult situations, to be diligent and honourable, which is what masculinity is about. I think the view expressed in this article is quite childish and ultimately very feminine, not masculine .
Real men drink Buckfast
http://everything2.com/title/Buckfast+Tonic+Wine
You should too.
Gotta say I agree with every single item listed. Hilarious!
This article is silly. In my opinion, a real man wouldn’t think twice about something like this. He’d order whatever he wants.
I think this list only applies to guys anxious about their penis size. The same guy who takes this list seriously is probably wearing Ed Hardy and driving a sedan with a spoiler.
I’m not sure you understand how ice works.
Here’s the problem with the internets: people who take stuff way too seriously abound.
This is a funny article, and it’s based on something that’s sort of true: that women sometimes judge a guy at a bar based on what he’s drinking. Agree with it, disagree with it, whatever…but when you take it personally, or try to argue that women shouldn’t make snap judgments, or that a drink itself doesn’t inherently lower a guy’s sperm count? You’re just outing yourself as one of those people who doesn’t really get what’s going on.
It only makes it worse when you start with the name-calling. Which is, in itself, oh-so-manly.
And really, if you’re going to misunderstand the article itself, you shouldn’t be commenting. Taking 2 hours to finish a BLL, “yourafag” is more a statement on how undrinkable that swill is, not that someone’s such a lightweight that they can’t finish it. (And seriously, choosing a name like “yourafag” is a great way to make people want to dismiss you completely. Or punch you in the mouth, and then dismiss you.)
And Greg, the article was written by a woman. So that accounts for the femininity, don’t you think?
Finally, Al…saying that something published on a blog is just an opinion? I’m sorry, but you don’t understand where you are right now, do you?
I have to agree with Curtis–anyone taking this list too seriously needs to check his pants, and just make peace with it.
Steph –
I’m not so sure about the BL but I knew the Fuzzy Navel would be on there before I even got to it… I think the most awkward drink I saw a man drink ( I won’t tell you which man) was a Cosmo — although, what I realized was that this man has to have Swagga to order the drink that he WANTS and not worry about what the rest of us think.
[...] 10 Drinks a Man Should Never Order in Public | LikeMe Daily [...]
If you are a real man, you shouldn’t order any american beer, that shit is weak, and you even allow the church to limit the amount of alcohol in your beer…grow a pair of balls!
Canadian and German beer is what you should be drinking, anything on this list is better than american beer
I wouldn’t judge a guy for ordering any of these drinks. The only drink I’d question a guy about is a Blowjob. Come on.
Oh for god’s sake…
Look, when I finish a margarita (on the rocks, the way they were intended), there’s all of this stuff left over at the end. They’re kind of clear, cubelike things. Right! The ice!
Drinking a blended margarita is like drinking a real margarita, then eating all of the ice in the glass. Yeah, all that water is good for preventing a hangover, but it does lead to less alcohol PER CAPITA.
For you math types, alcohol percentage is (volume of alcohol)/(total volume). Increase the total volume (say, by blending the ice into the drink), and you decrease the percentage of alcohol.
Come on, internet. Yiu are smarter than this, I know you are.